The article “Cutting: Why Teens Hurt Themselves” by Jeannette Moninger written on June 6th, 2011 for Family Circle magazine and Karen Conterio’s S.A.F.E. Alternatives website both have lists of what you should and shouldn’t do if you as a parents or friend find out your child or someone you know is self-injuring.
- Don’t react with extreme emotions.
- Don’t use threats or rewards to persuade your child to stop.
- Do not try to make them answer “why are you doing this?”
- Speak calmly.
- Express concern and loving while being nonjudgmental. If you are judgmental it may make them feel worse.
- Just listen. You want to have communication so don’t offer your opinion or try to fix it.
- Educate yourself so you can understand the self-injurer’s point of view.
- Let them know you are concerned and there for them and there to help them.
- Seek help professionally. If you are the friend of a self-injurer suggest that they talk to someone, perhaps a professional.
- Help your child or friend identify the problem and get them to recognize they need help. Do this in a way that shows respect.
Basically it is important to make sure that you don’t make the self-injurer feel like there is something wrong with them. They may already think that and that is why they self-injure. You want to be someone they can talk to without them feeling judged. You do need to politely and respectfully inform them that they should seek help or have some. It’s not easy to stop on your own. Find group therapy if you can. I find that being in a group with people who have the same problem makes it easier to stop but also makes you feel more comfortable because you know people can relate.
Words Speak Louder Than Scars 